


coming up for air

by atthebarricade



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M, Post-Bella Bella Bella, WHAT HAPPENED IN NEW YORK, i fixed the spacing because apparently ao3 doesn't do that for you anymore WHY, i wrote myself an ending okay, post 1x03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:37:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8430331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atthebarricade/pseuds/atthebarricade
Summary: "Let's go."What happens in New York.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I watched episode three of Eyewitness and then thought about it constantly for half an hour while I showered and then went to bed and subsequently produced this. Warning for abuse of commas and semicolons. This probably has an absurd amount of typos, sorry!

“Let’s go.”

Lukas tugged on Philip’s hand and he stumbled after him, half-expecting to trip and fall back into reality. He was sure that he was dreaming—Lukas, the same Lukas who had punched the shit out of him for even talking to him during school, just kissed him _in_ _public_. And was now holding his hand.

Still, he regained his balance and followed Lukas through the streets, wondering if he had a destination in mind or if they were just wandering now. Philip knew where they were, of course, he’d been in this neighborhood a lot when he still lived in the city; he knew that bodega across the street, recognized the bar packed with couples grinding on each other, had his first kiss with a boy in that club.

Lukas was slowing down at last, chest heaving and the city lights behind him casting a soft golden light on his blond hair. He was different here; not just because he didn’t have to worry about someone seeing them, or because he was surrounded by gay couples, although that was probably a lot of it. Lukas seemed freer away from the farm and his asshole dad. No turkeys to mourn here.  
Philip was hit with it all, suddenly: the image of him and Lukas if they’d lived in the city together and if his mom wasn’t a fucking junkie, if Lukas’s dad wasn’t a homophobe. They would live together in the city and they could go to gay clubs every night if they wanted. Lukas would hold his hand down every street and Rose would only be a name for flowers on date night. They could kiss on sidewalks and in crowds of tourists and on every bridge in the five boroughs.

Lukas finally turned to look at Philip and he immediately tried to get it under control, stop spacing out and focus on what was real and in front of him. He waited for Lukas to say something, anything, but after a few seconds he realized Lukas was waiting for him to make a move.

“I think you got us lost,” Philip said, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. Lukas huffed an awkward laugh and Philip cast a glance around, desperately looking for _anything_ to talk about.

“I thought you knew your way around the city,” Lukas retorted.

Philip turned back to him, surveying his expression to see how much Lukas would let him get away with. “I do,” he said cautiously. “I know it better than anything else.”

Lukas stared at him for a long moment, his eyes twitching downward like he was stopping himself from staring at Philip’s lips. Finally his hand moved toward Philip, hovering in the air an inch from his own thigh. “Then show me?”

Slowly, giving Lukas time to pull away, Philip reached forward to lace his fingers between Lukas’s. “What do you want to see?”

Lukas shrugged, stiff and awkward like he was being forced to hold his mom’s hand in public instead of—well. Whatever they were.

“Your three favorite places and your three least favorite places,” he finally said, echoing Philip’s words from earlier.

Philip tightened his grip on Lukas’s hand without meaning to. Instead of complaining or taking it back, Lukas let his thumb slowly drift once across the back of Philip’s hand.

“You got it,” Philip said, slightly strained, and began to pull Lukas across the sidewalk.

They did that for an hour—Philip didn’t bother going to specific places, just pointing out stores and bars as they passed them, even sharing an anecdote if he had a good one—but mostly he was focused on the warm and constant pressure of Lukas’s hand in his. He kept waiting for Lukas to snap out of it and push him away, punch him in the face again and disappear into the city, leaving Philip on his own. He didn’t, though; as the minutes crept by, he became less and less stiff and even swung their hands in between them for a bit. It was as if he’d stepped into a different universe: he’d glance over at Lukas and expect him to be replaced by a plainer, less interesting boyfriend or perhaps an alien. Not that Lukas was his boyfriend. He’d made that pretty clear.

Finally they passed a shitty old movie theater and Philip laughed, slowing to a stop in front of it.

“Oh, man,” he said, trying to peer into the ticket booth. “This theater is such a dump, man. I don’t think it’s passed a health inspection in fifty years. I don’t think it’s _been_ inspected in fifty years. I can’t believe they’re even allowed to be open.”

Lukas appraised the shoddy exterior, looking a little disturbed by that information. “Have you ever watched a movie here?”

“Oh, yeah,” Philip said. “There was a showing of Rocky Horror here one Halloween, they even did the whole shadow-acting or whatever it’s called. It was fucking awesome, actually. I had my first blowjob ever afterwards from the guy who played Rocky.” He smiled fondly, absently kicking at an abandoned popcorn bucket. It took him a second to realize that Lukas had tensed up again and was withdrawing his hand to cross his arms over his chest.

“Hey, wait,” Philip said. “I didn’t mean—” He cut himself off, noticing the way Lukas wouldn’t look at him. “Are you _jealous_?”

“You want me to be,” Lukas echoed, and Philip had to stop himself from laughing.

“No I don’t,” he told Lukas, who turned to him with a skeptical look. “No, seriously. It’s stupid for you to be jealous. I’m not the one with the girlfriend. I just got a blowjob from a guy once. Now I’m just—” He stopped again, not willing to finish that sentence.

“Just what?” Lukas said, turning to him again.

“Nothing. Doesn’t matter. I’m just saying it’s stupid for _you_ to be jealous. I—”

This time it was Lukas who cut him off, pushing him across the sidewalk into the alley next to the old theater, crowding him against the wall and ducking down to kiss him. It was more like their kiss in the barn than the earlier one on the sidewalk, rougher and more desperate. Philip gladly leaned into it, opening his mouth for Lukas and weaving a hand into his soft blond hair. He didn’t dare open his eyes, afraid to break the spell, afraid to see the halo of city lights against Lukas again and fall for him. _I’m not going to be your bitch._

He wished he had that kind of resistance now instead of giving in so easily. He’d been so adamant about not being Lukas’s dirty little secret, but now here he was, pinned against a wall in a dark alley only being kissed because they were in a different city. Philip was on the verge of pushing him away when Lukas broke away suddenly, leaning to press their foreheads together and quietly breathing. Philip’s whole body flooded with a sweet warmth and his gut knotted. He was terrified of what would happen when Lukas pulled away and the moment shattered. He was terrified of returning to Tivoli and only being able to have this, _Lukas_ , on that stupid farm when they were sure no one was watching. Here, in the city, in his home, and in Lukas’s arms, he could feel the guilt and terror and paranoia melt off of him, leaving him light. He wanted that. He wanted it with a physical need so strong it was painful.

“Hey,” Lukas murmured. “Are you okay? You look like you’re having a stroke.”

Philip opened his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Lukas said. He moved back a little, either trying to get away or give Philip space, but either way Philip was quick to place a hand on his cheek and guide him back in. Their lips met and this time Lukas pressed himself completely against Philip, cradling his face and slotting his knee between Philip’s. He let himself be kissed for a few long minutes before it shifted and became something more heated. The kiss deepened and they moved against each other, desperate for friction. Lukas slid a hand underneath Philip’s shirt and he stiffened at the cold, suddenly coming to his senses and pulling away.

“Wait,” he said, and Lukas froze. “No—I just mean—we’re not hooking up in a nasty alleyway in forty degree weather. We either go home or get some shitty motel, but there’s definitely at least twelve used needles within a three foot radius and it isn’t helping set the mood.”

Lukas rolled his eyes but stepped away. “I don’t have the cash for a motel room. When’s the next bus?”

“Hang on,” Philip said, desperate to prolong this moment. “I haven’t finished with my three favorite places.”

Lukas bit his lip. “All right,” he said. “Where’s the third place?”

Philip pushed off of the wall and moved close to Lukas, not reaching for his hand but brushing their shoulders together.

“Right here,” he declared. “The alleyway next to the city’s worst movie theater. My favorite place in New York.” He kept staring into the alley, unwilling to meet Lukas’s eyes just then. “And now we can go home.” He turned away and moved back towards the sidewalk, but a firm hand on his chest stopped him.

“Hey,” Lukas said, then stopped. “I, um—one for the road.”

One corner of Philip’s mouth turned up and he leaned in, meeting Lukas halfway. The wind moved through the buildings, rustling Lukas’s hair and raising goosebumps on their arms. Around them, the city moved softly, half-asleep and mindful of what was forming between the two boys, somewhere in the space between their hands and lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Basic Instinct" by The Acid. Thanks for reading! If anyone wants to freak out about this show, come say hi on Tumblr @ lesbiankirk!


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